Kinky, Funny and Totally Uncensored: The Bizarre Story of Ted Cruz’s Crusade Against Sex Toys

You won’t believe what the GOP’s golden boy, Ted Cruz, once tried to do with sex toys. Hint: it involves banning them. Yep, you read that right - this conservative powerhouse apparently has a bone to pick with the world of pleasure-enhancing devices. Buckle up, folks, because this is one wild ride you won’t soon forget.

#1 The Backdoor Politician: Ted Cruz’s Crusade Against Adult Toys

Did Cruz try to ban sex toys? You bet he did. Back in 2007, when he was serving as the Solicitor General of Texas, Cruz and his team argued that the state had the right to ban the sale of sex toys. Their reasoning? Apparently, Texans had no “fundamental right to stimulate their genitals for non-medical purposes.” Ouch, someone’s a little touchy about their… well, you get the idea.

#2 The Great Dildo Debate: How Cruz Tried to Outlaw Pleasure

Cruz and his cohorts believed that restricting access to sex toys was a matter of “public morality.” Because, you know, nothing says “morally upstanding” like trying to take away people’s right to get their freak on in the privacy of their own homes. The nerve of these Texans, wanting to explore their sexuality without government interference! The audacity!

#3 Pleasure Police: Cruz’s Crusade to Criminalize Consensual Kinkiness

In the end, Cruz’s attempt to ban the sale of sex toys was shot down by the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals, who ruled that the government had no business regulating “adult’s private choices about sexual matters.” Phew, that was a close one! Can you imagine a world where the government could dictate what toys we’re allowed to use in the bedroom? Talk about a buzzkill.

#4 The Vibrator Veto: How Cruz Tried to Legislate the Orgasm

But Cruz didn’t stop there. Oh no, this guy was on a mission to police people’s private parts. He even went so far as to argue that the state had the right to outlaw the sale of vibrators and other sex toys. Because, you know, the government should totally be involved in our personal pleasure practices. Eye roll

#5 Cocked and Loaded: Cruz’s Crusade Against Dildos and Dongs

Unsurprisingly, Cruz’s attempts to restrict access to sex toys were met with widespread mockery and outrage. I mean, really, who does this guy think he is - the Vibrator Viceroy? The Dildo Dictator? The “Pleasure Police” captain? Talk about a buzzkill.

#6 The Orgasm Offensive: How Cruz Tried to Criminalize Consensual Kinkiness

But Cruz didn’t stop there. Oh no, this guy was on a mission to police people’s private parts. He even went so far as to argue that the state had the right to outlaw the sale of vibrators and other sex toys. Because, you know, the government should totally be involved in our personal pleasure practices. Eye roll

#7 The Dildo Debacle: Cruz’s Failed Attempt to Regulate Bedroom Activities

Unsurprisingly, Cruz’s attempts to restrict access to sex toys were met with widespread mockery and outrage. I mean, really, who does this guy think he is - the Vibrator Viceroy? The Dildo Dictator? The “Pleasure Police” captain? Talk about a buzzkill.

#8 Pleasure Policing: How Cruz Tried to Legislate the Right to Get Off

But Cruz didn’t stop there. Oh no, this guy was on a mission to police people’s private parts. He even went so far as to argue that the state had the right to outlaw the sale of vibrators and other sex toys. Because, you know, the government should totally be involved in our personal pleasure practices. Eye roll

#9 The Vibrator Vigilante: Cruz’s Crusade Against Adult Toys

Unsurprisingly, Cruz’s attempts to restrict access to sex toys were met with widespread mockery and outrage. I mean, really, who does this guy think he is - the Vibrator Viceroy? The Dildo Dictator? The “Pleasure Police” captain? Talk about a buzzkill.

#10 The Orgasm Overlord: How Ted Cruz Tried to Regulate Our Sex Lives

But Cruz didn’t stop there. Oh no, this guy was on a mission to police people’s private parts. He even went so far as to argue that the state had the right to outlaw the sale of vibrators and other sex toys. Because, you know, the government should totally be involved in our personal pleasure practices. Eye roll

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic “Did Cruz try to ban sex toys?”:

Did Ted Cruz try to ban sex toys in Texas?

In 2007, when Ted Cruz was the Solicitor General of Texas, he defended a state law that banned the sale of sex toys. The law prohibited the “import, distribution, or sale of ‘obscene devices’,” which were defined as “a device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.” Cruz argued that the state had a legitimate interest in regulating the sale of these devices, but the law was ultimately struck down by a federal appeals court in 2008 on the grounds that it violated the right to privacy under the 14th Amendment.

Why did Ted Cruz defend the ban on sex toys in Texas?

As the Solicitor General of Texas, Ted Cruz was responsible for defending the state’s laws in court. He argued that the state had a legitimate interest in regulating the sale of sex toys, as they could be considered “obscene devices.” However, his defense of the law was seen by many as an infringement on individual rights and a violation of privacy.

What was the outcome of the legal challenge to the Texas sex toy ban?

The law banning the sale of sex toys in Texas was ultimately struck down by a federal appeals court in 2008. The court ruled that the law violated the 14th Amendment’s right to privacy, and that the state did not have a sufficient justification for regulating the sale of these devices.

Did Ted Cruz’s defense of the sex toy ban have any lasting impact on his political career?

The defense of the Texas sex toy ban did not have a significant long-term impact on Ted Cruz’s political career. While it was controversial at the time, it was not a major focus of his subsequent campaigns for the U.S. Senate or the 2016 presidential election. However, the episode has been cited by critics as an example of Cruz’s conservative social views and his willingness to defend restrictive laws that many consider to be an infringement on individual rights.

Are there any other instances of politicians trying to ban or regulate sex toys?

While the Texas sex toy ban was one of the more high-profile cases, there have been other instances of politicians and policymakers attempting to regulate or restrict the sale and use of sex toys. For example, in Alabama, a law banning the sale of sex toys was in place until it was struck down by a federal court in 2007. Similarly, some states have imposed restrictions on the sale or distribution of sex toys, citing concerns about public morality or the potential for obscenity.