You’d think that in the 21st century, people would be a little more open-minded about our private purchases. But alas, the stigma around sex toys is alive and well - and your friendly neighborhood shipper is in on the secret. Prepare to have your mind blown as we delve into the juicy details of do shippers know you buy sex toys.

10. They Can Smell Your Excitement (Literally)

Okay, maybe not literally, but those discreet packaging materials don’t fool anyone. Shippers have a sixth sense when it comes to identifying suspicious packages. That innocent-looking box might as well have “VIBRATOR INSIDE” stamped all over it. They know exactly what you’re ordering, and they’re silently judging you for it.

”I once had a customer try to return a dildo because the ‘package was damaged,’” recalls one weary shipper. “Ma’am, I think the real problem here is that you didn’t want your neighbors to know you bought a giant purple…you know what, never mind.”

9. They Pretend to Be Oblivious (But They’re Not)

For the sake of everyone’s sanity, shippers tend to play dumb when it comes to the contents of your packages. They’ll act all casual, like they have no idea what that mysterious buzzing noise is as they hand you your delivery. But deep down, they know. Oh, they know.

”I had a guy once try to convince me that the vibrator in his package was ‘just a back massager,’” one shipper chuckled. “Sir, I’ve been doing this job for 10 years. I know a sex toy when I see one.”

8. They Silently Judge Your Taste in Toys

From hot pink fuzzy handcuffs to lifelike silicone…appendages, shippers have seen it all. And let’s be real - they’re definitely forming some opinions about your preferences. Does that giant inflatable…item really need next-day delivery? Shippers are taking mental notes, my friend.

”I’ll never forget the time a little old lady ordered one of those…uh, ‘marital aids’ with a motor,” a shipper shared, shuddering at the memory. “The look on her face when I handed her that box - I think a part of her died inside.”

7. They Wonder About Your Relationship Status

Is that discreet package a solo endeavor, or are you and your partner(s) getting frisky? Shippers can’t help but wonder about the story behind each delivery. Are you treating yourself to some self-love, or are you spicing things up in the bedroom? The possibilities are endless, and the shippers are curious.

”Sometimes I’ll get these orders for, like, triple-headed…” the shipper paused, clearing their throat. “Well, let’s just say I wonder if the recipient has a lot of friends over for game night.”

6. They Pray You Don’t Make a Scene

Picture this: You’re waiting at the front door, eagerly anticipating your latest order from AdultMegaStore.com. The shipper arrives, and suddenly, you’re doing an elaborate dance of trying to casually accept the package without drawing any attention. Shippers live in fear of these awkward encounters, praying you’ll just take your box of goodies and slink away quietly.

”One time, a customer started jumping up and down, squealing, ‘It’s here, it’s here!’” the shipper recalled, wincing at the memory. “I thought I was going to have a heart attack right then and there.”

5. They Secretly Wish They Could Be That Excited

Let’s be real - shippers see a lot of boring packages day in and day out. But when that discreet sex toy delivery rolls around, a part of them can’t help but be a little envious. They may act all stoic and professional, but deep down, they wish they could experience that same childlike glee over their own naughty purchases.

”Sometimes I catch myself staring wistfully at those packages, wondering what kind of fun the recipient is about to have,” a shipper admitted, a faint blush creeping across their cheeks. “Then I remember I have, like, 20 more stops to make, and the moment passes.”

4. They Wonder if You’re Ordering for a Friend (Wink, Wink)

Ah, the age-old question: Is that package really for you, or are you secretly buying a gift for a friend? Shippers can’t help but wonder if there’s a deeper story behind your order. Are you trying to spice things up with your partner? Or are you the designated “fun friend” who’s always supplying the goods for the group?

”Sometimes I’ll get these orders for, like, multiple items - and I can’t help but wonder if the person is stocking up for a party or something,” a shipper mused. “I mean, how many people are you planning to…entertain?“

3. They Pray You Don’t Accidentally Expose Yourself

Shippers have seen it all - from wardrobe malfunctions to overeager package-opening. And let’s be honest, the last thing they want is to be the unwitting witness to your personal ahem activities. They’re just trying to do their job, not get an eyeful of your intimate explorations.

”I’ll never forget the time a customer was so excited to get their order that they ripped the box open right in front of me,” a shipper shuddered. “Let’s just say I saw a lot more than I ever wanted to that day.”

2. They Worry About Your Delivery Driver’s Sanity

Imagine being the poor soul who has to deliver that discreet package to your doorstep. Talk about a heavy burden to bear! Shippers can’t help but feel a little sorry for their fellow drivers, who have to face the wrath of angry customers if their secret purchases are compromised.

”I remember one time, the driver who delivered an order to a customer had a total meltdown afterwards,” a shipper recalled. “He was convinced the recipient was going to hunt him down and, well, let’s just say he wasn’t going to be using that particular item for its intended purpose.”

1. They Wish You’d Just Own It

At the end of the day, shippers are just trying to do their jobs. They’ve seen it all, and they really don’t care what’s in your packages. All they want is for you to be confident and unapologetic about your purchases. So the next time you order that extra-large…item, hold your head high and accept your delivery with pride!

”If I had a dollar for every time a customer tried to pretend they didn’t know what was in the box, I’d be a rich person,” a shipper laughed. “Just own it, folks! We’ve seen it all, and we really don’t judge.”

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic “Do Shippers Know You Buy Sex Toys”:

Do shippers know what’s in the package I’m receiving?

Most shipping companies have policies in place to protect the privacy of their customers. Shippers typically do not open or inspect the contents of packages unless there is a specific reason to do so, such as suspected illegal or dangerous items. The labels on the outside of the package will usually only indicate the sender and recipient information, without revealing the contents. As long as the package is properly labeled and doesn’t raise any red flags, the shipper is unlikely to know or care what’s inside.

Can I get discreet shipping for my sex toy purchase?

Yes, many online retailers offer discreet shipping options for sex toys and other intimate products. This typically means the package will be shipped in plain, unbranded boxes or envelopes, with no indication of the contents. The shipping label will only show the recipient’s name and address, without mentioning the company or type of item purchased. Some companies also offer the option to ship to a PO Box or alternative address to further protect your privacy.

What happens if my sex toy order gets lost or damaged in transit?

If your sex toy purchase gets lost, damaged, or delivered to the wrong address, you should contact the retailer and/or shipping company right away. Reputable companies will usually offer a full refund or replacement if an order doesn’t arrive as expected. They understand the sensitive nature of these products and will work to resolve any issues discreetly. Just be sure to check the company’s return and shipping policies before making a purchase.

Can customs agents search my package for sex toys?

In most cases, customs officials are not actively looking to inspect packages for sex toys or other intimate items. However, they do have the legal right to open and inspect any packages entering the country, regardless of the contents. If a package is selected for a random search, the customs agent may come across sex toys. While this could be embarrassing, they are generally professional and discrete about such matters, as long as the items are legal.

How can I ensure my sex toy purchase remains private?

There are a few steps you can take to help protect your privacy when buying sex toys online:

1. Use a credit card instead of a debit card to avoid the purchase showing up on your regular bank statements.
2. Ship the package to a secure location, such as your workplace or a PO Box, instead of your home address.
3. Look for retailers that offer discreet, unmarked packaging and billing.
4. Pay attention to the company’s privacy policy and how they handle customer information.
5. Consider using a prepaid gift card or online payment service instead of your regular credit card.

Taking these precautions can help keep your sex toy purchase private and prevent any unwanted attention or judgment.