Fri Jul 05 - Written by: Nikki Martinez
How Bad Is A Sexless Marriage
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Alright, listen up you love-starved trooper! If you’re stuck in a sexless marriage, then strap in because I’m about to lay down some cold, hard truths that are going to make your eyes water. Sex isn’t just a physical act - it’s the glue that holds a relationship together, the spark that keeps the flames of passion burning, and the reason why you married your better half in the first place. But when the bedroom goes quiet, that’s when the real nightmare begins. So, get ready to discover the top 10 reasons why a sexless marriage is the absolute pits.
1. The Intimacy Void
When the physical intimacy dries up in a marriage, it can leave you feeling alone, disconnected, and starved for affection. A sexless marriage means no cuddling, no stolen glances, no playful touches - just a vast chasm of emotional distance that can be truly suffocating. Without that crucial intimate bond, you start to feel like roommates rather than lovers, and that can slowly erode the very foundation of your relationship.
2. The Rejection Blues
Nothing stings quite like being rejected by the person you love the most. When you initiate sex and get turned down time and time again, it can leave you feeling unattractive, unwanted, and utterly crushed. This constant rejection can seriously damage your self-esteem and make you question your worth as a partner. And let’s be honest, walking around with that kind of emotional baggage is a real mood-killer.
3. The Frustration Factor
Pent-up sexual tension is no joke, my friends. When you’re stuck in a sexless marriage, that frustration can manifest in all kinds of unhealthy ways - from snapping at your partner over the smallest things to engaging in risky behavior just to scratch that itch. And let’s not forget the good old-fashioned blue balls (or the female equivalent, which is a very real thing, by the way). This constant state of frustration can take a serious toll on your mental and physical well-being.
4. The Temptation Trap
With no outlet for your sexual desires, the temptation to stray can become overwhelming. Whether it’s flirting with a coworker, engaging in a steamy online affair, or even considering an outright affair, the lure of physical intimacy outside your marriage can be incredibly hard to resist. And let’s be real, once you cross that line, it can spell the end of your relationship as you know it.
5. The Resentment Buildup
When sex becomes a distant memory in your marriage, it’s only a matter of time before resentment starts to build. You may find yourself harboring bitter feelings towards your partner, blaming them for your unfulfilled needs and longing for the days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. This resentment can slowly poison the entire relationship, making it increasingly difficult to connect on any level.
6. The Desire Disconnect
In a sexless marriage, the gap between your desire for physical intimacy and your partner’s can feel like an insurmountable chasm. One person may be craving sex on a regular basis, while the other is perfectly content with the status quo. This mismatch in libido can lead to feelings of frustration, rejection, and even a complete breakdown in communication.
7. The Stress Factor
Let’s be real - a lack of sex can be a major stressor in a marriage. The constant worry about your partner’s lack of interest, the anxiety over the future of your relationship, and the sheer effort of keeping up with the emotional strain can take a serious toll on your mental and physical health. And when you’re stressed and anxious, it can be even harder to get in the mood, creating a vicious cycle that’s tough to break.
8. The Boredom Epidemic
When the bedroom goes silent, it can feel like the entire relationship has lost its spark. Without the excitement and thrill of physical intimacy, your marriage can start to feel stale, routine, and downright boring. And let’s be honest, who wants to be stuck in a boring marriage? Boredom can lead to a sense of complacency, and before you know it, you’re both just going through the motions.
9. The Trust Breakdown
In a healthy marriage, sex is a vulnerable act that helps build trust and intimacy between partners. But when that physical connection disappears, it can erode the trust and vulnerability that’s so essential to a strong relationship. Without that trust, it becomes increasingly difficult to open up emotionally and truly connect with your partner on a deeper level.
10. The Fertility Struggle
For couples who are hoping to start a family, a sexless marriage can be particularly problematic. After all, if you’re not regularly engaging in physical intimacy, it can make conceiving a child much more challenging. This can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, and even a sense of failure, which can further strain the relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “how bad is a sexless marriage”:
What are the common causes of a sexless marriage?
There are several potential causes of a sexless marriage, including:
- Decreased sexual desire or libido in one or both partners, often due to factors like stress, fatigue, health issues, or hormonal changes
- Relationship problems, such as poor communication, lack of emotional intimacy, or unresolved conflicts
- Psychological factors like depression, anxiety, or sexual trauma
- Medical conditions that impact sexual function, such as chronic pain, illness, or side effects from medication
- Differences in sexual needs or preferences between partners
Identifying and addressing the root causes is important for improving the sexual intimacy in a marriage.
How common are sexless marriages?
Estimates on the prevalence of sexless marriages vary, but research suggests it may be more common than one might think. Studies have found that around 15-20% of married couples report not having sex for at least 6 months to a year. The exact definition of a “sexless” marriage can differ, but it generally refers to a couple that has sex fewer than 10 times per year.
What are the potential impacts of a sexless marriage?
A lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage can have significant emotional, physical, and relational consequences. Some potential impacts include:
- Feelings of loneliness, rejection, and emotional disconnection
- Resentment, frustration, and a decline in overall relationship satisfaction
- Strain on the couple’s emotional and physical intimacy
- Negative effects on self-esteem and body image
- Increased risk of infidelity or the breakdown of the marriage
Addressing the issues contributing to a sexless marriage is crucial for maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Can a sexless marriage be saved?
Yes, in many cases a sexless marriage can be improved with the right approach. This may involve:
- Improving communication and understanding each other’s needs and desires
- Seeking counseling or therapy to address underlying issues
- Making time for regular, meaningful non-sexual intimacy
- Addressing any physical or medical factors impacting sexual function
- Experimenting with ways to reignite the sexual spark
With commitment, empathy, and a willingness to work on the relationship, many couples are able to overcome a sexless period and revive their sexual intimacy.
What are the options if a sexless marriage cannot be resolved?
If a sexless marriage persists despite efforts to improve it, a couple may need to consider their options, which could include:
- Individual or couples therapy to address the root causes
- Open relationships or ethical non-monogamy (with mutual agreement)
- Separation or divorce, if the lack of sexual intimacy is irreconcilable
- Accepting the sexless nature of the marriage and finding ways to maintain a fulfilling relationship in other ways
The decision will depend on the specific circumstances and what both partners feel is the best path forward. Seeking professional guidance can help couples explore the options that align with their values and goals.


