Sat Jul 06 - Written by: Nikki Martinez
How To Accept Being In A Sexless Marriage
Embrace the lull! Discover the unexpected joys of a sexless marriage - from rekindling emotional intimacy to exploring novel forms of pleasure. Unleash your creativity and redefine your happily ever after.
Are you in a sexless marriage and wondering how to cope? Fear not, my dear friends, for I have conjured up a devilishly delightful list of tips to help you embrace the dry spell and find joy in the, uh, lack of intimacy. Buckle up, because this is about to get kinkier than a pretzel in a taffy pull.
1. Embrace the Power of Imagination
Ah, the mind - the most powerful erogenous zone of all. If your bedroom is drier than the Sahara, let your imagination run wild. Fantasize about that one time you and your partner got it on like rabbits in heat. Relive those steamy memories in vivid detail. Who needs physical touch when you’ve got a perfectly good cerebral cortex?
2. Cultivate a Green Thumb (and Other Hobbies)
Now that you’re not spending all your time between the sheets, you’ve got plenty of free time on your hands. Why not channel that pent-up energy into a new hobby? Gardening, for instance, can be a fantastic way to nurture your green thumb and your sense of fulfillment. Or, if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you could try your hand at taxidermy. Nothing says “I’m content with my sexless marriage” like a menagerie of stuffed critters.
2.1 Unleash Your Inner Artist
Painting, sculpting, or even interpretive dance - the possibilities are endless when it comes to exploring your creative side. Not only will these activities keep you busy, but they can also be a great way to express the emotions you’re feeling about your sexless marriage. Who knows, maybe you’ll even stumble upon a new passion!
2.2 Get Physical (in Non-Sexual Ways)
If you’re missing that physical connection, consider engaging in non-sexual forms of physical touch. Cuddling, for example, can be a wonderfully intimate way to bond with your partner without the pressure of sex. Or, if you’re feeling particularly ambitious, you could try your hand at partner yoga. Just be sure to keep those hands above the waist, you saucy minx.
3. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Communication is key in any relationship, but it’s especially important when navigating the uncharted waters of a sexless marriage. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings, your needs, and your concerns. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable - vulnerability can be the sexiest thing of all.
3.1 Seek Professional Help
If you and your partner are struggling to communicate effectively, consider seeking the guidance of a sex therapist or marriage counselor. These professionals can help you identify the root causes of your sexless situation and develop strategies to overcome them.
4. Redefine Intimacy
Just because you’re not getting it on like bunnies doesn’t mean you can’t be intimate with your partner. Intimacy comes in many forms, from emotional connection to shared experiences. Spend quality time together, engage in deep conversations, and find new ways to express your love and affection.
4.1 Explore Non-Sexual Touch
If physical touch is what you’re craving, explore non-sexual forms of touch, such as massage, hand-holding, or even just cuddling on the couch. These gestures can help you feel more connected to your partner without the pressure of sex.
5. Practice Self-Care
When you’re in a sexless marriage, it’s easy to feel like you’re not enough, or that you’re somehow failing as a partner. Combat these negative thoughts by engaging in regular self-care. Treat yourself to a luxurious bubble bath, indulge in your favorite comfort food, or simply take a leisurely stroll through nature. Remember, you’re a whole person, with or without sex.
5.1 Prioritize Your Mental Health
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you’re struggling with the emotional toll of a sexless marriage. A therapist or counselor can provide invaluable support and help you develop healthy coping mechanisms.
6. Embrace the Situational Aspects
Sometimes, a sexless marriage is the result of external factors, such as stress, illness, or even just the natural ebb and flow of intimacy over time. Instead of beating yourself up over it, try to accept that these situations are often out of your control. Focus on supporting your partner and finding creative ways to maintain your connection.
6.1 Explore Alternative Forms of Intimacy
If traditional sexual intimacy is off the table, get creative! Experiment with sensual massage, erotic literature, or even the occasional “self-care” session. The key is to find ways to nurture your physical and emotional connection that don’t necessarily involve penetrative sex.
7. Shift Your Perspective
It’s easy to get bogged down in the negativity of a sexless marriage, but try to reframe the situation in a more positive light. Instead of focusing on what you’re missing, celebrate the other aspects of your relationship that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, a healthy marriage is about so much more than just sex.
7.1 Revel in the Non-Sexual Aspects of Your Relationship
Think about all the ways your partner supports you, makes you laugh, or simply shares in the mundane moments of life. These non-sexual aspects of your relationship can be just as meaningful and fulfilling as physical intimacy.
8. Embrace the Unexpected
Who says a sexless marriage has to be a bad thing? Embrace the unexpected opportunities that come with this situation. Maybe you’ll finally have time to tackle that DIY project you’ve been putting off, or you’ll discover a new passion that brings you closer together. Approach this chapter of your life with a spirit of adventure and curiosity.
8.1 Redefine Success in Your Relationship
Stop comparing your relationship to the unrealistic standards you see in the media. Success in a sexless marriage might look different than what you imagined, but that doesn’t make it any less valid. Focus on the unique ways you and your partner can find happiness and fulfillment together.
9. Nurture Your Emotional Intimacy
When physical intimacy is off the table, it’s more important than ever to cultivate a deep emotional connection with your partner. Engage in meaningful conversations, share your hopes and fears, and find ways to support each other emotionally. This level of vulnerability can be incredibly rewarding and can help you feel more bonded than ever.
9.1 Explore Non-Sexual Activities Together
In addition to emotional intimacy, try to find activities that you and your partner can enjoy together that don’t involve sex. Go for a hike, try a new recipe, or simply curl up on the couch and watch a movie. These shared experiences can help you feel connected in a non-sexual way.
10. Remember, You’re Not Alone
If you’re struggling to accept your sexless marriage, know that you’re not the only one. Millions of couples around the world are navigating similar challenges, and there’s no shame in seeking support. Reach out to trusted friends or family members, join online communities, or consider seeking professional help. You’ve got this, and you’re not in it alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “how to accept being in a sexless marriage”:
What is a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage is generally defined as a marriage where the couple has sex less than 10 times per year. This can be due to a variety of reasons, including low libido, relationship issues, health problems, or other factors. It’s important to note that there is no “normal” amount of sex in a marriage, and what matters most is that both partners are on the same page and their needs are being met.
How common are sexless marriages?
Sexless marriages are more common than you might think. Estimates suggest that around 15-20% of married couples are in a sexless relationship. While it’s a sensitive topic, it’s important to know that you’re not alone if you’re in a sexless marriage.
What are the potential consequences of a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage can lead to a range of emotional and psychological consequences, including feelings of rejection, resentment, and low self-esteem. It can also strain the emotional intimacy and connection between partners. In some cases, a sexless marriage can even lead to infidelity or the breakdown of the relationship.
How can I communicate with my partner about a sexless marriage?
Open and honest communication is key when it comes to addressing a sexless marriage. Start by having a compassionate, non-judgmental conversation with your partner about your needs and concerns. Avoid blaming or criticizing, and instead focus on finding solutions that work for both of you. Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor if you’re having trouble navigating these conversations.
What can I do to improve the intimacy in my sexless marriage?
There are several strategies you can try to improve the intimacy in your sexless marriage. These might include scheduling regular date nights, trying new activities together, practicing non-sexual touch and affection, and addressing any underlying issues like stress, anxiety, or health problems. It’s also important to manage your own expectations and focus on the overall quality of your relationship, rather than just the frequency of sex.


