Sat Jul 06 - Written by: Nikki Martinez
How To Live In A Christian Sexless Marriage
Spice up your Christian marriage with these 10 steamy secrets you never knew you needed! Discover the hidden joys of intimacy and rekindle the flame in your relationship.
Ah, the dreaded “sexless marriage” – the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about, especially in the context of a Christian union. But let’s be real, folks, sometimes life just doesn’t go according to plan, and we find ourselves in this rather, ahem, unique predicament. Fear not, my fellow believers, for we are here to explore the art of how to live in a christian sexless marriage with a healthy dose of humor, empathy, and a touch of kinkiness (because, well, why not?).
1. Embrace the Power of Communication
Remember, communication is the key to any successful relationship, even (or especially) in a Christian sexless marriage. Grab your partner, pour a glass of wine (or sparkling grape juice, for the teetotalers), and have an honest, open discussion about your needs, desires, and fears. Don’t be afraid to get a little vulnerable – after all, this is your person, and they should be your safe space.
Tip: Set aside a regular “check-in” time to discuss the state of your union, and be willing to explore non-sexual ways of connecting and expressing your love.
2. Cultivate Emotional Intimacy
While physical intimacy may be off the table, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a deep, meaningful connection with your partner. Engage in activities that foster emotional closeness, such as cuddling, sharing your dreams and aspirations, or simply reminiscing about your courtship days. These moments of vulnerability and understanding can be just as fulfilling as physical intimacy, if not more so.
Idea: Plan a romantic picnic or stargazing session, where you can simply bask in each other’s presence and have a heartfelt conversation.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
In the midst of navigating a Christian sexless marriage, it’s easy to neglect your own needs. But, my friends, self-care is not selfish – it’s essential. Make time for activities that nourish your soul, whether it’s a solo retreat, a girls’ (or guys’) night out, or a rejuvenating hobby. Remember, a healthy, happy you is better equipped to support your partner and your relationship.
Challenge: Experiment with different self-care practices, such as journaling, meditation, or even gasp a steamy bubble bath (without your partner, of course).
4. Redefine Intimacy
Just because physical intimacy is off the table doesn’t mean you can’t explore other forms of intimacy in a Christian sexless marriage. Get creative and experiment with non-sexual touch, such as massage, sensual dancing, or even sharing a warm bath together. These experiences can help satisfy your need for physical closeness without crossing any lines.
Suggestion: Invest in a couple’s massage class or attend a sensual dance workshop together, and let the sparks fly (in a tasteful, God-honoring way, of course).
5. Seek Spiritual Connection
In a Christian sexless marriage, it’s important to nurture your spiritual connection with both your partner and the divine. Engage in joint prayer, Bible study, or worship sessions that can deepen your bond and remind you of the higher purpose of your relationship. Remember, your union is a reflection of Christ’s love for the church – cherish and honor that sacred calling.
Tip: Incorporate spiritual practices into your daily routine, such as a morning devotional or an evening prayer together.
6. Explore Intimacy through Service
When physical intimacy is off the table, finding intimacy in a christian sexless marriage can take on a whole new meaning. Discover ways to serve and bless one another, whether it’s preparing a thoughtful meal, volunteering at a local charity, or simply offering a listening ear. These acts of selfless love can deepen your connection and remind you of the true purpose of your marriage.
Challenge: Identify a cause or organization that aligns with your shared values, and volunteer your time and talents as a couple.
7. Embrace Playfulness and Creativity
Just because you’re not engaging in the, um, traditional forms of intimacy doesn’t mean you can’t have fun and be playful with your partner. Indulge in silly games, create art or music together, or plan a couples-only game night. Laughter and shared experiences can be incredibly bonding and can help you rediscover the joy in your relationship.
Idea: Unleash your inner child and have a living room dance party, complete with disco lights and a killer playlist.
8. Seek Professional Guidance
If you’re struggling to navigate the complexities of a Christian sexless marriage, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Consider consulting with a Christian counselor or therapist who can provide guidance, support, and practical strategies for strengthening your relationship. Remember, there’s no shame in asking for help – it’s a sign of wisdom and courage.
Tip: Research local Christian counseling centers or online resources to find a provider that aligns with your values and beliefs.
9. Cultivate a Positive Mindset
In the face of a Christian sexless marriage, it’s easy to feel discouraged, frustrated, or even ashamed. But, my friends, I encourage you to shift your perspective and focus on the positives. Celebrate the emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connection you share with your partner, and be grateful for the blessings in your life. A positive mindset can work wonders in helping you navigate this challenge.
Challenge: Create a gratitude journal and make a conscious effort to acknowledge the small joys and blessings in your relationship each day.
10. Embrace the Unexpected
Finally, remember that life is full of surprises, and a Christian sexless marriage is no exception. Be open to the possibility that your situation may change, or that God may have a different plan for your relationship. Approach each day with an open heart and a willingness to adapt, and trust that, with faith and perseverance, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way.
Tip: Regularly pray for guidance and wisdom, and be willing to follow where God leads, even if it’s unpredictable.
Here’s to embracing the journey of a Christian sexless marriage with grace, humor, and a whole lot of heart. Remember, you’re not alone in this, and with a little creativity, a lot of communication, and a deep trust in the divine, you can navigate these uncharted waters and emerge stronger than ever.
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “how to live in a Christian sexless marriage”:
What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?
The Bible presents sex within marriage as a good and beautiful gift from God. In 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, the apostle Paul instructs married couples not to deprive each other of sexual intimacy, except by mutual consent for a time, so that they may devote themselves to prayer. The Song of Songs also celebrates the joys of sexual love between a husband and wife. However, the Bible also teaches that sex should be reserved for the marriage covenant, and that Christians should abstain from sexual immorality.
How can a couple maintain intimacy in a sexless marriage?
While physical intimacy is an important part of marriage, there are other ways for couples to cultivate emotional, spiritual, and relational intimacy. Couples can focus on quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations, praying together, and finding creative ways to express love and affection. Seeking counseling can also help couples navigate the challenges of a sexless marriage and rediscover intimacy in their relationship.
What if one spouse desires sex more than the other?
This can be a difficult situation, but it’s important for both spouses to communicate openly and work together to find a solution. The spouse with a higher sex drive should be understanding and patient, while the spouse with a lower drive should be willing to compromise and find ways to meet their partner’s needs, even if it’s not their preferred mode of intimacy. Seeking counseling can also help couples find a healthy balance and compromise.
How can a couple cope with the emotional and relational challenges of a sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage can be emotionally and relationally challenging, leading to feelings of rejection, resentment, and disconnection. Couples should prioritize open and honest communication, validating each other’s feelings, and seeking to understand and empathize with one another. Engaging in other forms of physical affection, such as hugging, holding hands, and cuddling, can also help maintain a sense of intimacy. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor can also be helpful.
Is it okay for a Christian couple to seek outside help, such as therapists or sex coaches, in a sexless marriage?
While the decision to seek outside help is a personal one, many Christian counselors and therapists can provide valuable guidance and support for couples navigating the challenges of a sexless marriage. These professionals can help couples communicate more effectively, address underlying issues, and explore healthy ways to rebuild intimacy. It’s important to choose a counselor or therapist who aligns with the couple’s Christian values and beliefs.


