The Racy Renditions: Top 10 Sexy Christmas Songs

With the holiday season just around the corner, it’s time to spice things up a little with our annual collection of the sexiest Christmas songs. You know, songs that make you blush yet sing along with the catchy beats and steamy lyrics. So, here are ten of the kinkiest, funniest, and most risqué interpretations of classic Christmas tunes to get you in the mood for the coldest nights of the year!

1. Jingle Balls (Jingle Bell Rock) – The Timeless Chesterfields

The Timeless Chesterfields’ playful twist on the holiday classic “Jingle Bell Rock” is an irresistibly infectious song that will have you singing, “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to see when your balls are all swingin’ today!” This hilarious rendition is sure to put a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye.

*** Important* While we affectionately refer to the song as “Jingle Balls,” title is not meant to be taken literally. No need to worry if your holiday is well-hung, if you know what we mean.

2. Santa’s Coming to Climax – Sinnamon

In this sultry remake, Sinnamon offers a tantalizing invitation to all those who believe this “Santa” is coming to give the ultimate gift – pure, unadulterated pleasure. Pack your reindeer half-step, er, half-off, because this tune will leave you wanting more!

3. All I Want for Christmas (Is You to Undress Me) – The Naked Networkers

Three longing voices harmonize in a sultry, slow-groove as they profess, “All I want for Christmas is you to undress me…” This modern take on Mariah Carey’s timeless Christmas classic is a must-hear for anyone who wants a masturbatory soundtrack this holiday season.

4. A Very Promiscuous Christmas – Santa’s Hot Helpers

The smoldering Santa’s Hot Helpers deliver this sizzling, dancefloor-filling track that declares, “Ain’t no use in looking back!” Equip yourself with this season’s sexiest underwear because these helmers are warming up for a very HOT Christmas.

5. It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Fuck – Furtch

Furtch, the edgier, sexier sibling of Fitch, offers this seductive, reimagened version of “It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas.” With its throaty vocals, driving beat, and sultry electronic enhancements, this tune is perfect for setting the mood during your heated holiday encounters.

6. Baby, It’s Cold Outside (In Here) – Frosty Flames

Minneapolis-based duo Frosty Flames serves up a spunky, playful version of the holiday evergreen, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” The sultry harmonies and double entendre lyrics will leave you laughing and, quite possibly, rethinking the odds of getting locked in with a special someone this Christmas.

7. Deck the Halls (With Cock) – Throbbing Thistles

In this naughty but nice reinterpretation of the holiday classic, Throbbing Thistles suggest adding a touch of spice to your seasonal celebrations by “decking the halls” with “cocks” of all shapes and sizes. It’s sure to stir the pot at your holiday dinner table conversation.

8. Silent Night (But I’m Still Fking) – The Whispering Puishees**

Completing their sultry covers collection, The Whispering Puishees deliver this haunting and seductive version of “Silent Night.” As the lyrics echo softly, they’re quick to remind you, “But I’m still f**king! Can you hear the sounds of heaven echoing within?” This undeniably unique rendition will make you rethink the true meaning of holiday peace.

9. Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart) – Sleazy McSteamy

The smooth, silky tones of Sleazy McSteamy breathe new life into Wham!’s original holiday hit, “Last Christmas.” McSteamy laments, “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart – the very next day, the head honcho stole your buddy’s astuh.” This reinterpretation is bound to invoke both tears and laughter.

10. Let It Snow! (Let’s Blow Snow) – Amy Snowfall

Amy Snowfall delivers a reimagined version of “Let It Snow!” that would have made Gene Autry blush. With her sultry voice, she shares, “Let It Snow! Let’s Blow Snow! We can make snow angels for hours…” This steamy tune is perfectly suitable for when a winter storm leaves you with little else to do.

Wrapping It Up:

Strap on your Santa hat, tape up your holiday jingle bells, and hold on tight because this sizzling collection of sexy Christmas songs is bound to leave you breathless and buzzing for one of the kinkiest holiday seasons yet. Happy bangin’, folks – and remember, it’s all in good, tastefully dirty fun!

Frequently Asked Questions

The most popular sexy Christmas songs often include “Santa, Baby” by Eartha Kitt, “Let It Snow” by Kali Uchis and The Internet, “Last Christmas” by Wham!, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by various artists, and “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey. These songs can add a sultry or romantic touch to holiday gatherings.

Sexy Christmas songs generally have a slow, sensual rhythm, sultry lyrics often describing romantic or intimate interactions, and a sultry or smooth vocal performance by the artist. These qualities create a sensual or romantic atmosphere, making these songs perfect for holiday dance parties or intimate gatherings.

Some artists known for releasing sexy Christmas songs are Eartha Kitt, Mariah Carey, Ariana Grande, Drake, and Kelly Rowland. These artists typically bring their unique style to holiday classics, turning them into sultry tracks that can add a sense of romance or passion to the holiday season.

Yes, modern sexy Christmas songs include tracks like “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Ariana Grande, “Lonely Christmas” by Donny Hathaway, and “Under the Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber featuring Usher. These songs maintain the sensuality and romanticism typical of sexy Christmas songs but with a contemporary sound and style.

To create a playlist of sexy Christmas songs, you can search for popular tracks by various artists, such as “Santa, Baby” by Eartha Kitt, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” by Mariah Carey, and “Last Christmas” by Wham!. You can also check out playlists on popular streaming platforms like Spotify, Apple Music, and Tidal, which already curate sexy Christmas playlists. Additionally, exploring remixes or new covers of classic sexy holiday songs can add variety and interest to your playlist.