Sat Jul 06 - Written by: Nikki Martinez
Should You Look Outside For Sex In A Sexless Marriage
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Hey there, you sexy beast! Are you feeling like your bedroom has turned into the Sahara Desert? Wondering if it’s time to look for a little extra-curricular fun on the side? Well, you’re in the right place, my friend. In this juicy little article, we’re gonna dive deep into the dos and don’ts of should you look outside for sex in a sexless marriage. So buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride!
Is Your Marriage Truly Sexless?
First things first, let’s define what we mean by a “sexless marriage.” Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean zero sex – it’s more like, you know, less than 10 times a year. If you and your partner are only getting it on once or twice annually, then yeah, you’re probably in a sexless marriage. But before you start scouting the local singles scene, let’s take a look at some other factors.
Communication is Key
Have you tried talking to your partner about the lack of intimacy? Sometimes, all it takes is a little honest, open communication to get things back on track. Maybe they’re feeling insecure, or there’s an underlying issue you need to address. Whatever the case, communication is the first step towards a solution.
Underlying Health Issues
If the lack of sex is due to a medical condition, like low libido or erectile dysfunction, then the problem might not be as simple as just looking elsewhere. It’s important to work with your partner and a healthcare professional to find a solution that works for both of you.
When Is It Time to Look Outside?
Okay, let’s say you’ve tried talking it out, and there’s still no action in the bedroom. When does it become acceptable to start looking for sex outside your marriage? Well, there’s no easy answer, but here are a few signs it might be time to consider it.
The Resentment Factor
If you’re starting to feel resentful towards your partner because of the lack of sex, that’s a pretty big red flag. Resentment can quickly turn into bitterness, and that’s a surefire way to destroy your relationship.
Your Needs Aren’t Being Met
Let’s be real – sex is a pretty important part of a healthy relationship. If your sexual needs aren’t being met, and your partner isn’t willing to work on it, then you might need to start exploring other options.
The Affair Temptation is Strong
We’ve all been there – that person at the office or the gym who’s just a little too flirty. If you find yourself constantly fantasizing about having sex with someone else, it might be time to have an honest conversation with your partner.
The Pros and Cons of Looking Outside
Okay, so you’ve decided that it’s time to start looking for sex outside your sexless marriage. But before you jump into anything, let’s weigh the pros and cons.
The Pros
- You get your sexual needs met: Let’s face it, a sexless marriage can be tough. Having an outside sexual partner can help fill that void.
- It can reignite the spark: Sometimes, a little outside excitement can actually help revive the passion in your marriage.
- It’s exciting and thrilling: Let’s be real, a secret affair can be pretty darn exciting. The thrill of new (and naughty) experiences is hard to beat.
The Cons
- It can destroy your marriage: If your partner finds out, it’s likely to be the end of your marriage. Trust is hard to rebuild once it’s broken.
- It can lead to feelings of guilt and shame: Cheating, even in a sexless marriage, can leave you feeling like a terrible person.
- It can complicate your life: Juggling a secret affair on top of your regular life can be exhausting and stressful.
The Ethical Alternatives
Before you go down the cheating route, let’s explore some more ethical alternatives that could help satisfy your sexual needs.
Open Relationships
If you and your partner are both on board, an open relationship could be a viable solution. This allows you both to explore sexual connections outside the marriage, while still maintaining your commitment to each other.
Swinging
Swinging is another option to consider. This involves you and your partner engaging in sexual activities with other consenting couples. It can be a great way to spice things up while keeping your primary relationship intact.
Polyamory
For the truly adventurous, polyamory might be worth exploring. This involves having multiple romantic and sexual partners, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
The Risks of Looking Outside
Okay, so you’ve weighed the pros and cons, and you’ve decided that looking for sex outside your sexless marriage is the right move for you. But before you take the plunge, let’s talk about the risks.
STIs
One of the biggest risks of having an affair is the potential to contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI). This can be a serious health hazard, not just for you, but for your partner as well.
Emotional Complications
Affairs can be emotionally complicated, to say the least. You might find yourself caught up in a web of feelings, like guilt, shame, and even falling in love with your affair partner.
Blackmail and Extortion
If your affair is discovered, you could be vulnerable to blackmail or extortion. This can have serious consequences, both financially and legally.
The Importance of Boundaries
If you do decide to look outside your sexless marriage for sex, it’s crucial to set some clear boundaries. This will help protect your primary relationship, as well as your own emotional well-being.
Communicate with Your Partner
Even if your partner isn’t on board with you seeking outside sexual fulfillment, it’s important to be honest with them. This can help prevent further damage to your relationship.
Establish Rules and Limits
Decide on things like, how often you can see your affair partner, what kind of activities are off-limits, and how you’ll maintain discretion.
Prioritize Your Marriage
Remember, your primary relationship should always come first. Any outside sexual activities should never take priority over working on the issues in your marriage.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
Before you make any decisions, it’s important to do some serious self-reflection. Ask yourself some tough questions, and be honest with yourself about the answers.
Is This Really What You Want?
Are you sure that looking outside your sexless marriage for sex is the right choice for you? Or are you just trying to avoid dealing with the underlying issues in your relationship?
Are You Willing to Face the Consequences?
If your affair is discovered, are you prepared to face the potential consequences, like the breakdown of your marriage, or even legal issues?
Have You Explored All Options?
Have you truly exhausted all other avenues for addressing the lack of intimacy in your marriage, like counseling or sex therapy?
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, the decision to look outside your sexless marriage for sex is a deeply personal one. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, and what works for one couple might not work for another.
The most important thing is to approach this situation with honesty, communication, and a deep understanding of the potential consequences. If you do decide to explore outside sexual connections, be sure to do so safely, ethically, and with the utmost respect for your primary relationship.
Remember, a sexless marriage doesn’t have to be the end of the world. With a little creativity, compromise, and a whole lot of open communication, you can find a solution that works for you and your partner. So, what are you waiting for? Go forth and get your freak on, you sexy beast!
Frequently Asked Questions
Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “should you look outside for sex in a sexless marriage”:
What are the potential consequences of seeking sexual fulfillment outside a sexless marriage?
Seeking sexual fulfillment outside a sexless marriage can have serious consequences. It may lead to feelings of guilt, betrayal, and a further breakdown of trust in the relationship. It can also expose you to the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Additionally, if discovered, it may result in the dissolution of the marriage. It’s important to carefully consider the potential ramifications before making such a decision.
How can communication and compromise help address a sexless marriage?
Open and honest communication with your partner is crucial in addressing a sexless marriage. Discuss the issues openly, express your needs and concerns, and work together to find mutually acceptable solutions. This may involve compromises, such as scheduling regular intimate time, seeking counseling, or exploring new ways to be physically and emotionally intimate. Compromise and a willingness to work on the problem together can go a long way in improving the situation.
What are some alternatives to seeking external sexual fulfillment in a sexless marriage?
If you’re struggling with a sexless marriage, there are alternatives to seeking sexual fulfillment outside the relationship. These may include individual or couples counseling to address the underlying issues, exploring non-sexual forms of intimacy, or considering an open relationship with clear boundaries and expectations. It’s important to exhaust all options within the marriage before considering extramarital activities.
How can a sexless marriage impact the overall health of the relationship?
A sexless marriage can have a significant impact on the overall health of the relationship. It can lead to feelings of resentment, disconnection, and a lack of emotional intimacy. This, in turn, can strain communication, trust, and the overall quality of the relationship. Unaddressed, a sexless marriage can contribute to the breakdown of the relationship and potentially lead to divorce. Addressing the issue proactively is crucial for maintaining a fulfilling and healthy partnership.
What are the ethical considerations to weigh when considering extramarital sexual activities in a sexless marriage?
Engaging in sexual activities outside of a sexless marriage raises complex ethical considerations. It’s important to consider the impact on your partner, the potential for betrayal and the breakdown of trust, and the long-term consequences for the relationship. Additionally, you should reflect on your own values and principles, and whether such actions align with your personal moral compass. Ultimately, it’s crucial to prioritize open communication, mutual understanding, and a sincere effort to address the underlying issues within the marriage before considering any extramarital activities.


