1 Introduction

S&M, or sadomasochism, is a lifestyle that some romantic couples, friends, partners or even family members choose to engage in. It is all about consensual power play, where one person (“the dominant”) takes on a role of control, and the other one (“the submissive”) allows that control. Often, the dominant and submissive switch roles during their play, aka scenes. You may hear these scenes referred to as fantasies, roleplay, or sessions.

My objective in writing this article is to give you a top-to-bottom overview of S&M including its nuances. But let’s start from the beginning and discuss what S&M is all about.

Coming to its literal meaning, S&M stands for Sadism and Masochism. However, when we use S&M in the context of human relationships, it describes activities and interests where one person gains pleasure or satisfaction from receiving pain (masochism), while another enjoys seeing that person in pain, and/or inflicting the pain (sadism).

The S&M dynamic is always consensual, and the people involved set up appropriate physical and emotional boundaries. It is about trust, communication and experimenting with role-play, and it can exist within romantic relationships, friendships, even family situations – although these may be less common.

While the acronym S&M wasn’t introduced until the 1950s, the actual practice dates as far back as ancient civilizations. By the time the Victorians rolled around, S&M started popping up in erotic literature and art, though it was meant mostly for underground, taboo circles. The decade of the roaring ’20s played host to a more open exploration of sexuality and subcultures, including S&M, although the sadomasochistic practices we see today didn’t fully emerge until more modern times.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does S&M stands for?

S&M stands for “Sadomasochism”, a term commonly used to describe a spectrum of erotic practices that involve inflicting physical or emotional pain, stress, or discomfort as a source of pleasure, often involving consenting and communicative partners engaged in role-play.

What are the different types of S&M practices?

S&M practices can vary, but common ones include but are not limited to spanking, bondage, power exchange, Domination and submission, among others. These practices aim to stimulate the psychological and emotional aspects of sex, while also providing sensory stimulation.

Is S&M the same as BDSM?

S&M can be considered a subset of BDSM. BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Domination and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). While S&M is specifically focused on the elements of sadomasochism, BDSM encompasses a broader range of activities related to power dynamics and control in sexual relationships.

What is a “safeword” in S&M?

A safeword in S&M is a pre-agreed word or phrase that communicates to the partner/s that the person issuing the safeword is no longer comfortable or wants the activity to stop immediately. This word helps maintain clear communication and consent during S&M scenes.

Are there any risks associated with S&M?

While S&M can be a fulfilling and pleasurable activity for many, there are potential risks and safety concerns to be aware of. These may include injury, emotional harm, or breaches in consent. It is important for participants to engage in open communication, set boundaries, and practice safe S&M practices to mitigate these risks.