Sexless in the City: The Top 10 Surprising Factors That Define a “Sexless Marriage”

You know what they say - “Netflix and chill” has a whole new meaning in the bedroom these days. But let’s be real, a sexless marriage is no laughing matter. It’s a taboo topic that’s often whispered about in hushed tones, but today we’re pulling back the sheets and exposing the cold, hard truth. From unexpected libido killers to the mind-blowing benefits of a satisfying sex life, get ready for a wild ride through the scandalous secrets of what really defines a “sexless marriage”.

1. The Intimacy Abyss: When Touch Turns to Taboo

Remember back in the day when you and your partner couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Fast forward a few years, and now even a casual brush of the hand sends shivers down your spine - and not the good kind. In a sexless marriage, physical touch becomes a minefield, with both parties tip-toeing around each other, afraid to initiate anything remotely intimate. The thought of sex morphs from sizzling sensation to skin-crawling dread, leaving you longing for the good old days when you couldn’t keep your clothes on.

2. The Frequency Fallacy: When “Once a Month” Becomes the New Normal

Let’s talk numbers, shall we? In a “sexless marriage,” the magic number for sexual activity is typically less than 10 times per year. That’s right, folks - a romp in the sheets once every 36 days or so is considered the new standard. And before you start doing the math, let’s not forget those special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and that one time you both had a little too much wine. The sad truth is, in a sexless marriage, sex becomes an afterthought, a distant memory, or worse, a chore to be checked off the to-do list.

3. The Desire Disconnect: When One Wants It, the Other Doesn’t

In a “sexless marriage,” the age-old battle of the libidos rages on. While one partner may be raring to go, the other can’t even muster up the energy to change out of their sweatpants. This desire discrepancy creates a breeding ground for resentment, frustration, and a whole lot of awkward silences. It’s like a game of sexual tug-of-war, with both parties pulling in opposite directions, each feeling misunderstood and unfulfilled.

4. The Emotional Erosion: When Intimacy Becomes a Distant Memory

In a sexless marriage, the emotional connection often takes a backseat to the physical. As the sexual sparks fade, so too does the sense of closeness and emotional intimacy. Conversations become surface-level, and the once-vibrant bond morphs into a mere roommate-like relationship. It’s a vicious cycle - the less emotionally connected you feel, the less inclined you are to be physically intimate, and the less physically intimate you are, the more the emotional connection withers away.

5. The Avoidance Addiction: When Sex Becomes the Elephant in the Bedroom

Sexless marriages often breed a culture of avoidance, where both partners go to great lengths to steer clear of the dreaded “S” word. Suddenly, every excuse in the book becomes fair game - “I’m too tired,” “I have a headache,” “I’d rather just watch Netflix.” And the more you avoid the issue, the more it festers, until the mere thought of sex becomes a source of anxiety and dread.

6. The Blame Game: When Finger-Pointing Replaces Foreplay

In a “sexless marriage,” the blame game is a well-worn routine. Each partner points the finger at the other, convinced that they’re the one responsible for the lack of intimacy. “If only you were more attentive/adventurous/insert-adjective-here, then maybe we’d have sex more often.” The problem is, this blame-shifting only serves to create a deeper divide, further eroding the already fragile foundation of the relationship.

7. The Shame Spiral: When Vulnerability Becomes a Dirty Word

Sexless marriages often come with a hefty dose of shame and embarrassment. Both partners may feel like they’re the only ones struggling with this issue, leading to a sense of isolation and a reluctance to open up. The fear of being judged or perceived as “less than” can be crippling, causing couples to withdraw even further, creating a self-perpetuating cycle of shame and silence.

8. The Infidelity Temptation: When Seeking Satisfaction Elsewhere

In a “sexless marriage,” the temptation to seek satisfaction elsewhere can become overwhelming. Starved for physical and emotional intimacy, some people may turn to affairs, porn, or other illicit activities in a desperate attempt to fill the void. This, of course, only serves to further erode the trust and connection within the relationship, making the path back to a healthy, fulfilling sex life even more challenging.

9. The Resentment Roadblock: When Bitterness Replaces Bedroom Bliss

Sexless marriages often breed resentment, as one or both partners feel unfulfilled, unappreciated, and increasingly bitter about the lack of intimacy. This resentment can manifest in passive-aggressive behaviors, sarcastic comments, and a general air of hostility, creating a hostile environment that makes it nearly impossible to reconnect on an emotional or physical level.

10. The Relationship Reckoning: When Sex Isn’t the Only Thing on the Line

At the end of the day, a “sexless marriage” is not just about the sex. It’s about the deeper issues that underlie the lack of intimacy, such as communication breakdowns, unresolved conflicts, and fundamental incompatibilities. When these deeper problems are left unaddressed, the consequences can be dire, threatening the very foundation of the relationship and potentially leading to separation or divorce.

So there you have it, folks - the shocking, the scandalous, and the oh-so-juicy secrets of what truly defines a “sexless marriage.” Remember, “sexless marriage” is not just about the lack of physical intimacy; it’s a complex web of emotional, psychological, and relational factors that can threaten the very core of a relationship. But fear not, with a little vulnerability, communication, and a willingness to address the underlying issues, even the most “sexless marriage” can be revived and reclaimed.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “what defines a sexless marriage”:

What is considered a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage is generally defined as a marriage where a couple has sexual intercourse less than 10 times per year. This can be due to a variety of reasons, such as decreased libido, relationship issues, medical conditions, or other life stressors. It’s important to note that the definition of a sexless marriage can vary depending on the individuals involved and their personal perspectives on what constitutes a satisfactory sex life.

How common are sexless marriages?

Sexless marriages are more common than one might think. Studies suggest that approximately 15-20% of married couples have not had sex with their partner in the last six months to one year. However, the prevalence can vary depending on factors such as age, length of the relationship, and cultural norms.

What are the potential causes of a sexless marriage?

There are many potential causes of a sexless marriage, including:

• Underlying medical conditions (e.g., hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, or sexual dysfunction)
• Mental health issues (e.g., depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem)
• Relationship problems (e.g., communication breakdown, resentment, or lack of emotional intimacy)
• Changes in life stages (e.g., the birth of a child, job-related stress, or retirement)
• Differences in sexual desire or libido between partners

Identifying and addressing the root cause is often crucial for improving the sexual and emotional intimacy in a marriage.

How can a couple overcome a sexless marriage?

Overcoming a sexless marriage can be challenging, but it is possible with effort and commitment from both partners. Some strategies include:

• Seeking professional help, such as couples counseling or sex therapy, to address underlying issues
• Improving communication and emotional intimacy in the relationship
• Experimenting with new ways to be physically intimate, beyond just sexual intercourse
• Addressing any medical or mental health concerns that may be contributing to the problem
• Maintaining a positive and understanding attitude towards the situation

The key is to approach the issue with empathy, open-mindedness, and a willingness to work together to find a solution that satisfies both partners.

Is a sexless marriage grounds for divorce?

There is no universal answer to this question, as the decision to divorce is a highly personal one that depends on the specific circumstances and the needs and values of the individuals involved. While a sexless marriage can be a significant source of dissatisfaction and a contributing factor to the breakdown of a relationship, it is not automatically grounds for divorce. Many couples are able to work through this challenge and maintain a fulfilling, albeit non-sexual, marriage. Ultimately, the decision to stay or leave a sexless marriage is up to the partners involved, taking into account their overall relationship, personal priorities, and long-term goals.