You know that old saying, “If these walls could talk”? Well, if the walls of your bedroom could talk, they’d probably whisper something like, “Geez, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Because let’s face it, folks - when the bedroom door stays firmly shut more often than it opens, you might just be in a sexless marriage. But don’t worry, you’re not alone. In fact, up to 20% of marriages are considered sexless. So, what exactly constitutes a sexless marriage, and how can you spice things up again? Grab a cup of coffee (or wine, no judgment here) and let’s dive into the top 10 surprising signs that you might be in a sexless marriage, as well as some tips to get the spark back.

1. The Calendar Says It’s Been “Too Long”

When was the last time you and your partner, well, you know? If you have to rack your brain to remember, and it’s been more than a month since you’ve been intimate, congratulations - you might be in a sexless marriage. Experts generally define a sexless marriage as one where the couple has sex less than 10 times per year. But don’t panic just yet! Life happens, and sometimes the bedroom takes a backseat to work, kids, and other responsibilities. The key is to have an honest conversation with your partner about your needs and work together to get things back on track.

2. You’d Rather Binge-Watch Netflix Than Get Busy

Remember those early days of your relationship when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Now, the thought of getting intimate makes you cringe and reach for the remote instead. If you’d rather spend your evenings scrolling through social media or watching TV than, ahem, reconnecting with your partner, that’s a telltale sign that your sex life has taken a nosedive.

3. Intimacy Feels More Like a Chore Than a Pleasure

Sex should be fun, right? But if it feels more like a dreaded to-do list item than a mutually enjoyable activity, that’s a problem. Sexless marriages often occur when one or both partners start to view sex as a chore rather than a way to connect and bond. If you find yourself making excuses or actively avoiding sexual intimacy, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner about what’s going on.

4. Physical Touch Is Scarce (and Awkward)

In a healthy relationship, physical touch should be abundant - hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, and the occasional playful slap on the bum. But in a sexless marriage, even the most innocent forms of physical affection can feel stilted and uncomfortable. If you and your partner find yourselves automatically recoiling from each other’s touch, it could be a sign that your sex life (and overall intimacy) has taken a nosedive.

5. You Don’t Feel Desired Anymore

One of the most gut-wrenching aspects of a sexless marriage is the feeling of being unwanted or unattractive to your partner. If you constantly feel like your partner is disinterested in you physically, it can seriously damage your self-esteem and make you question the very foundation of your relationship. Remember, a healthy sex life is about mutual desire, not just physical gratification.

6. Conversations About Sex Are Awkward (or Non-Existent)

When was the last time you and your partner had an open, honest discussion about your sex life? In a sexless marriage, these conversations can feel downright excruciating, leading couples to avoid the topic altogether. But sweeping it under the rug won’t make the problem go away. It’s crucial to find a way to communicate your needs, concerns, and desires in a judgment-free, compassionate way.

7. You Resent Your Partner (or Vice Versa)

Resentment is the silent killer of relationships, and it often rears its ugly head in sexless marriages. If you find yourself harboring feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment towards your partner due to the lack of intimacy, it’s a clear sign that something needs to change. Similarly, if your partner seems to resent you for not being “in the mood,” it’s time to have a serious heart-to-heart.

8. You’ve Stopped Making an Effort

Remember when you used to make an extra effort to look and feel your best for your partner? Maybe you’d put on a sexy outfit, light some candles, or even schedule a romantic getaway. But in a sexless marriage, that kind of effort often falls by the wayside. If you and your partner have stopped making the effort to keep the romance alive, it could be a sign that your sex life (and overall relationship) is in trouble.

9. Intimacy Feels Forced or Awkward

When was the last time you and your partner had sex that felt truly spontaneous and natural? In a sexless marriage, even attempts at intimacy can feel forced, awkward, or downright unpleasant. If you find yourself going through the motions just to “get it over with,” it’s a clear sign that something needs to change.

10. You’ve Stopped Talking About Your Needs (or Listening to Theirs)

Communication is the key to a healthy, fulfilling sex life, but in a sexless marriage, it’s often one of the first things to go. If you and your partner have stopped talking about your sexual needs, desires, and concerns, it’s a recipe for disaster. Similarly, if one or both of you has stopped listening to each other’s needs, it can create a vicious cycle of resentment and disconnection.

So, there you have it - the top 10 surprising signs that you might be in a sexless marriage. But don’t despair! With open communication, a willingness to try new things, and a little bit of creativity, you can breathe new life into your sex life and strengthen your overall relationship. Remember, a sexless marriage doesn’t have to be a permanent condition. With the right mindset and a little bit of effort, you can reignite the spark and rediscover the joy of physical intimacy with your partner.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to “what’s considered a sexless marriage”:

What is a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage is generally defined as a marriage where there is little to no sexual activity between the partners. While there is no strict definition, a marriage is often considered sexless if the couple has sex less than 10 times per year. However, the specific frequency that constitutes a sexless marriage can vary depending on the individuals involved and their expectations.

What are the common causes of a sexless marriage?

There are several potential causes for a sexless marriage, including:

• Loss of libido or desire for intimacy due to factors like stress, mental health issues, hormonal changes, or medical conditions
• Relationship problems, such as lack of communication, unresolved conflicts, or resentment
• Changes in the dynamics of the relationship, such as the transition to parenthood or the loss of romantic connection
• Differences in sexual needs and preferences between partners

What are the potential consequences of a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage can have a significant impact on the emotional and psychological well-being of the partners. Some potential consequences include:

• Feelings of rejection, loneliness, and disconnection
• Resentment, frustration, and a sense of incompatibility
• Decreased intimacy and emotional closeness
• Problems with self-esteem and body image
• Increased risk of infidelity or the breakdown of the relationship

How can couples address a sexless marriage?

Couples facing a sexless marriage can consider the following strategies:

• Engaging in open and honest communication about their needs, concerns, and desires
• Seeking professional help, such as couples counseling or sex therapy, to address the underlying issues
• Experimenting with new ways to be intimate, such as non-sexual physical touch, sensual massages, or shared romantic activities
• Making time for intimacy and prioritizing sexual connection in the relationship
• Addressing any medical or mental health factors that may be contributing to the lack of sexual activity

Is it possible to have a happy and fulfilling marriage without sex?

While sex is often an important aspect of a healthy marriage, it is possible for some couples to have a satisfying and fulfilling relationship without a traditional sexual component. Some couples may choose to have an asexual or non-sexual marriage, focusing instead on emotional intimacy, shared experiences, and a deep, platonic connection. However, this arrangement requires clear communication, mutual understanding, and a shared commitment to maintaining the relationship in a way that meets the needs of both partners.