Top 10 Sneaky Spots to Stash Your Stash: Hiding Sex Toys from Curious Kids

Let’s face it, parents - sometimes our kinky side needs a little privacy, away from the prying eyes and ever-curious hands of our little ones. But where do you even begin to conceal your collection of pleasure providers when you’ve got mini-me’s roaming the house? Fear not, my fellow adult toy aficionados, I’m here to let you in on the top 10 where do you hide your sex toys from your kids that will keep your naughty necessities out of sight and out of mind (hopefully).

The Sock Drawer Switcheroo

Who would ever think to look in the sock drawer? This classic hiding spot is a favorite for a reason - it’s the last place your kids will think to rummage through. Just be sure to keep everything neatly organized and ahem discreetly packaged to avoid any awkward explanations.

Camouflage in the Cleaning Supplies

Stash your toys alongside the household cleaners and your kids will be none the wiser. The boring, utilitarian appearance of these hiding spots will make them instantly forgettable. Just remember to keep everything out of reach and safely secured.

The Vent Lair

Those air vents dotting the walls and floors? Pure genius for where do you hide your sex toys from your kids. Tuck away your toys in the ductwork, and they’ll be hidden in plain sight. Just be sure to use a vent cover to keep prying eyes out.

The Ceiling Stash

If you’ve got some extra space up there, the ceiling can be the perfect hideaway. Pop a few ceiling tiles and nestle your stash snugly above. Your kids will be looking everywhere but up.

The Toilet Paper Tomb

Yes, the humble toilet paper roll can be the ultimate sex toy sanctuary. Hollow out a few cardboard tubes, slip your toys inside, and stash them atop the tank or deep in the cabinet. Your kids will be way too focused on the essentials to go digging around.

Artfully Disguised

If you’ve got a knack for DIY, why not get crafty and create some discreet hiding spots? A hollowed-out book, a false-bottom drawer, or even a cleverly concealed compartment in a piece of furniture can do the trick.

The Makeup Masquerade

Let’s face it, kids rarely want to get anywhere near their parent’s makeup stash. Stash your toys amidst the lipsticks, brushes, and eyeshadow palettes, and they’ll stay safely out of sight (and mind).

The Laundry Lockbox

Socks, shirts, and where do you hide your sex toys from your kids - oh my! The laundry room is a veritable treasure trove of hiding spots. Tuck your toys away in the washing machine, dryer, or even in the dirty clothes hamper for maximum concealment.

The Attic Asylum

If you’ve got access to an attic, you’ve got the perfect hiding spot for your grown-up goodies. Climb up there, find a cozy corner, and let your toys live in peace, far away from prying eyes.

The Untouchable Underwear

Your unmentionables drawer is a sacred space that kids tend to avoid at all costs. Stash your toys amidst the lace and silk, and they’ll be safe and sound.

Conclusion: Prioritize Safety and Discretion

No matter where you decide to hide your where do you hide your sex toys from your kids, always remember to prioritize safety and discretion. Keep everything out of reach of little hands, and make sure your hiding spots are truly secure. With a little creativity and a dash of ingenuity, you can keep your private collection out of sight and out of mind.

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to the topic of “where do you hide your sex toys from your kids”:

How do I choose a good hiding spot for my sex toys?

When choosing a hiding spot for your sex toys, you’ll want to look for a place that is out of sight and out of reach of your children. Some good options include the top shelf of your closet, a locked drawer in your dresser, or even a safe or lockbox tucked away in your bedroom. Wherever you choose, make sure it’s a spot that your kids won’t be able to accidentally stumble upon.

What if my kids find my sex toys anyway?

If your kids do happen to discover your sex toys, try not to panic. Remain calm and have an age-appropriate conversation with them about privacy and personal boundaries. Explain that those items are for adults only and that they shouldn’t touch or play with them. Reassure your kids that they haven’t done anything wrong, and use the opportunity to reinforce the importance of respecting each other’s personal space.

How can I safely store my sex toys?

In addition to choosing a good hiding spot, it’s important to properly store your sex toys to keep them safe and well-maintained. Clean your toys thoroughly after each use and store them in a cool, dry place away from direct sunlight. You may also want to invest in storage containers or bags specifically designed for sex toys. This will help protect them from dust, moisture, and potential damage.

What if my kids ask questions about my sex toys?

If your kids ask direct questions about your sex toys, it’s best to answer them honestly and age-appropriately. Explain that the toys are for adults to use privately, and that they are not something children should be interested in or playing with. Avoid getting overly detailed, and steer the conversation towards more general topics of privacy, consent, and healthy relationships.

How can I prevent my kids from accidentally finding my sex toys?

In addition to choosing a secure hiding spot, there are a few other steps you can take to prevent your kids from accidentally stumbling upon your sex toys. Consider keeping your bedroom door locked when not in use, and make sure to thoroughly clean up and put away any toys after each use. You may also want to invest in discreet storage solutions, such as lockboxes or specialty bags designed for sex toy storage.