Top 10 Sneaky Spots to Stash Your Sex Toys (Kids, Beware!)

When it comes to keeping your bedroom antics under wraps, the struggle is all too real, my friends. As proud owners of a delightful collection of, ahem, intimate companions, we’ve had to get downright creative in our quest to where to hide sex toys from kids. No more shall we live in fear of sticky fingers and prying eyes! Prepare to be amazed by our Top 10 Sneaky Spots to Stash Your Sex Toys.

1. The Great Sock Drawer Switcheroo

Who would ever suspect the humble sock drawer? Slip your toys into an inconspicuous bag or box, then bury them beneath a mountain of boring white socks. Junior will never think to rummage that deep, and you can rest easy knowing your goods are safely tucked away.

2. Behind the Bookshelf Subterfuge

Booklovers, this one’s for you. Carefully wedge your toys between the spines of your literary collection, arranging the books to conceal any telltale bulges. The more diverse your reading material, the better - little Timmy will be far too occupied hunting for the latest bestseller to notice anything amiss.

3. The Hallowed Underwear Hideaway

Let’s face it, kids tend to avoid rummaging through their parents’ unmentionables. Use this to your advantage by stashing your toys in your underwear drawer, hidden beneath layers of lace and cotton. Bonus points if you can seamlessly incorporate them into your daily wear rotation.

4. The Ceiling Fan of Concealment

Think vertically, my friends. The top of your ceiling fan is the perfect perch for your playthings, out of sight and out of mind. Just be sure to secure them well, lest your next light-hearted romp end in a slapstick mishap.

5. The Makeup Bag Masquerade

For the beauty buffs among us, your trusty makeup bag is an excellent hiding spot. Tuck your toys amidst the eyeshadows and lipsticks, then casually leave the bag out on your vanity. Who’s going to rummage through mom’s makeup, anyway?

6. The Tampon Trap

Speaking of feminine hygiene products, the humble tampon box is an ingenious place to conceal your more intimate belongings. Nestle your toys between the cotton plugs, and voila - a discreet and unexpected hiding place.

7. The Locked Lingerie Locker

If you’re the proud owner of a ahem lingerie collection, put that locked lingerie cabinet to good use. Stash your toys alongside your silky underthings, then keep the key firmly in your possession.

8. The Toolbox Tango

For the DIY enthusiasts, your trusty toolbox is the perfect place to stash your toys. Tuck them away between the wrenches and screwdrivers, then leave the box in your garage or workshop - places little fingers are unlikely to venture.

9. The Tire Trick

Speaking of the garage, have you considered the humble spare tire? Lift it up, slip your toys underneath, and replace it, leaving no trace of your clever hiding spot.

10. The Cookie Jar Caper

And finally, the old standby - the cookie jar. Who would ever think to look for your ahem personal effects nestled between the Oreos and Chips Ahoy? Just be sure to keep the jar well-stocked with actual cookies to maintain the ruse.

There you have it, folks - our top 10 sneaky spots to where to hide sex toys from kids. Remember, the key to success is creativity, commitment, and a healthy dose of mischief. Happy hiding!

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are 5 FAQs related to “where to hide sex toys from kids”:

Where should I hide sex toys from my kids?

The best places to hide sex toys from your kids are out of sight and out of reach. Some good options include the top shelf of your closet, the back of a drawer, or a locked box or safe. Avoid hiding them in obvious places like under your bed or in your nightstand, as curious kids are more likely to find them there. The key is to make the toys inaccessible and unnoticeable to your children.

How can I make sure my kids don’t find my sex toys?

In addition to hiding your sex toys in discreet locations, you can take other steps to prevent your kids from discovering them. For example, keep them in opaque containers or wrapped in a towel so they’re not visible. You can also store them with other household items to camouflage them. It’s also a good idea to periodically do a sweep of your home to ensure your kids haven’t stumbled upon your hidden stash.

What should I do if my child finds my sex toys?

If your child does manage to find your sex toys, stay calm and handle the situation delicately. Avoid scolding or punishing the child, as this could make them feel ashamed. Instead, calmly explain that those items are for adults only and should be kept private. Reassure the child that they did nothing wrong, and then discreetly remove the toys and find a new hiding place.

How can I talk to my kids about sex toys?

While it’s generally best to avoid discussing sex toys with your children, there may be situations where it becomes necessary. If your child asks about the toys, you can simply say they are private adult items that aren’t for kids. Offer a brief, age-appropriate explanation and redirect the conversation. The goal is to be honest but not overly detailed, and to emphasize the importance of privacy and respect.

Are there any creative ways to hide sex toys from my kids?

In addition to the standard hiding spots, there are a few creative ways to conceal your sex toys from curious kids. For example, you could stash them inside a hollowed-out book or a locked box disguised as something innocuous, like a jewelry box or a decorative container. You could also hide them in the attic, the basement, or even inside the air vents, as long as they’re not easily accessible to your children.