Naughty Nights and Curious Minds: Exploring the Tangled Web of Sex Toy Legality

You know what they say - one person’s pleasure is another’s pleasure to outlaw. And when it comes to sex toys, some states have taken the naughty into the downright absurd. Buckle up, folks, because we’re about to embark on a wild ride through the kinky, the comical, and the downright head-scratching world of which states made sex toys illegal.

The Lone Star State’s Lone Star Struggle

Everything is bigger in Texas, including the state’s aversion to sex toys. Back in the 1990s, the Lone Star State decided that, well, no one in their right mind should be allowed to get their hands on these ahem “obscene devices.” But don’t worry, the good people of Texas were allowed to own up to six - count ‘em, six - marital aids. Anything beyond that, and you were looking at a potential misdemeanor charge. Yee-haw, indeed.

Lone Wolves and Lone Willies

The law was so absurdly specific that it even defined what constituted a “sex toy.” And get this - dildos were a big no-no, but novelty items like “gag gifts” were totally fine. Because, you know, nothing says “marital aid” like a gag gift from the gas station. The law was eventually struck down in 2008, but not before countless Texans had to sneak their personal massagers across state lines.

Virginians and Their Virtual Virginity

Virginia, the self-proclaimed “birthplace of a nation,” has a long and storied history of trying to keep its citizens’ naughty bits under lock and key. Back in the 1970s, the state decided that sex toys were a big no-no, banning the sale and distribution of these ahem “obscene items.” But, like any good Virginian, they were happy to make an exception for “medical” devices.

Busting the Bedroom Bandits

The law was so strict that even the possession of sex toys could land you in legal hot water. Virginians found themselves in a bit of a … sticky situation, shall we say, as they had to either get creative with their personal pleasure or risk becoming criminals in the bedroom. The law was eventually struck down in 2018, but not before countless Virginians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

The Peach State’s Peachy Keen Prudishness

Georgia, the state that brought us the world’s largest aquarium and the sex toy ban that just won’t quit. Back in the 1980s, the Peach State decided that its citizens were simply too virtuous to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Buzzkill Brigade

The law was so absurd that it even specified that sex toys couldn’t be sold as “marital aids.” Because, you know, what married couple doesn’t want to spice things up with a little novelty item from the gas station? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Georgians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

Alabama’s Alabammy Aversion to Artificial Arousal

Alabama, the state that brought us both college football and a seemingly endless list of sex toy bans. Back in the 1990s, the Heart of Dixie decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Bama Bans and the Bedroom Bouncers

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what Alabamian doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “marital aids”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Alabamians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

Mississippi’s Mystifying Moralizing

Mississippi, the state that brought us both the blues and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1990s, the Magnolia State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Magnolia State’s Marital Aid Misadventures

The law was so absurd that it even specified that sex toys couldn’t be sold as “marital aids.” Because, you know, what Mississippian doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the gas station to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Mississippians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

Kansas’ Kinky Conundrum

Kansas, the state that brought us both Dorothy and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1985, the Sunflower State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Jayhawk Jitters and the Bedroom Bans

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what Kansan doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Kansans had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

Indiana’s Infamous Indy Intimacy Interference

Indiana, the state that brought us both the Indianapolis 500 and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1980s, the Hoosier State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Hoosier Horrors and the Bedroom Blunders

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what Hoosier doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Hoosiers had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

Oklahoma’s Outrageous Outlawing

Oklahoma, the state that brought us both the musical and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1970s, the Sooner State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Oklahoman Obsession with Obscenity

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what Oklahoman doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless Oklahomans had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

North Carolina’s Naughty Notions

North Carolina, the state that brought us both the Wright brothers and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1980s, the Tar Heel State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Tar Heel Tangle and the Bedroom Brouhaha

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what North Carolinian doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless North Carolinians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.

South Carolina’s Scandalous Stance

South Carolina, the state that brought us both the Charleston and a rather curious stance on sex toys. Back in the 1990s, the Palmetto State decided that its citizens were simply too pure of heart to be trusted with these ahem “obscene devices.” And let’s not forget the good ol’ days when you could get your hands on a vibrator, but only if it was marketed as a “novelty item.”

The Palmetto Predicament and the Bedroom Brouhaha

The law was so strict that it even made it illegal to sell sex toys - not just own them. Because, you know, what South Carolinian doesn’t love a good old-fashioned trip to the hardware store to pick up their “novelty items”? The law was finally struck down in 2016, but not before countless South Carolinians had to resort to, well, let’s just say “alternative” methods of self-exploration.